written in February – March 2020

At the beginning of January, I decided to follow a 30 day yoga challenge off of YouTube. The 30 day challenge consists of a series of 30 instructional yoga videos, one for each day of the month. A variety of these exist on YouTube. I followed one published by a yoga instructor Lesley Fightmaster on her channel Fightmaster Yoga (link).

My motivation behind this was twofold.

For one, on the days that I wasn’t running, I wanted another type of physical movement to participate in that was entirely different and entirely other, than running. Ideally something that would complement the running well. I had tried rock climbing in the fall, but ended up stopping for a variety of reasons, and so was on the search for a new activity. Yoga was an obvious choice to consider, as the stretching would be inherently good for running muscles, possibly preventing injury. It also just appeared as such a different form of movement, slow, mindful, and stationary, that it was an interesting contrast to running.

Two, I had heard about some of the benefits of yoga, such as increased flexibility, increased creativity, improved breathing and overall health, an overall increase in mindfulness, and improved mental health. These interested me on some level, as although the connection between exercise and mental well-being was something I had experienced before, this one seemed especially fascinating. In the past I had experienced overall improved mental well-being as a result of frequent cardio, and from finding peace and enjoyment in the activity itself (link for the curious) but the idea of tangible levels of increased mindfulness, increased creativity, and reduced anxiety as a result of a series of seemingly gentle stretches and breathing exercises seemed tenuous to me as a general skeptic of most things. I wanted to see for myself.

So I began.

Overview

Overall, I found it more challenging than I expected. The poses required more physical effort than they appear to, and the mental effort of continuing to focus and match your breath with the movements was more than I anticipated. The stretching, breathing, and movement felt good, just challenging.

The videos began short, around 15 minutes, and slowly grew in length until they were ~30-35 minutes.

The videos were going fairly well. I was following along daily, slowly building in duration.

And then I stopped.

I lasted 20 days. Around then, I got sick, missed a couple days because of that, and then ended up missing a few more days, and a few more…

My absolutism ultimately was my downfall; once I missed a few days I called it quits as I saw I had failed my original goal of 30 continuous days of daily yoga. In hindsight, had I sucked it up and started back up again after a few days, I probably would have been able to finish the challenge only a few days late. But, like many things, I didn’t particularly see it at the time.

Eventually, after a week or two had passed, I began again. I started to practice yoga periodically, not necessarily sticking to a set 30 day program.

Since then, I have continued to practice yoga a few times a week. It is an activity I can incorporate into my weekly routine in a few different ways.

It can be a solo pursuit; a break from society and responsibility to merely exist. A silent reprieve, moving and breathing and being mindful in a small world of my own. A barrier is simultaneously created and destroyed every time I set up my mat in a public place. An invisible boundary is drawn around me; whilst my role in the world is imperceptibly different than normal, I feel separate and other from those around me in my action. Originally, a sense of fear perpetrated this distance. Now, a sense of self-confidence, identity, and purposeful action comes along with it. I stand amongst those around me as an island amongst an archipelago: independent, and yet a piece of a greater whole.

It can be an activity with a friend. A relaxing, healthy, outdoor activity. The act of sitting down and engaging in mindful movement in the company of another can be a time of relaxation and calm. It can be a time of openness and feeling. It can be a time of concentration and focus. It can be many things but is most of all a shared experience of mindful movement with another.

It can be in the form of a class or group activity. I have recently started attending a weekly free outdoor community yoga class, and this has been helpful in getting me to go reliably. Being surrounded by others who share the same interest, and are willing to set aside an hour of their day and week for it, is a comforting feeling. A vague sense of identity, community, and self-imposed commitment accompany these sessions and are welcome feelings.

Although there are differences between a class, with a friend, and on your own, there is some inherent commonality in all of these different settings of a yoga practice. Each time as I lay down my mat and strike a pose, a sense of calm and purpose fill my movements. Sometimes this feeling is strong, others extremely mild. But I always feel it. And there are a few common positive takeaways. I generally feel better mentally after a yoga session than I do before I went in. I also generally enjoy the practice, feeling okay and more positive during it than I did before. And even on the days where these aren’t true, these acts of mindfulness and movement help to anchor me in the present, which I appreciate. As a local instructor told me, “don’t look for the door just yet.”

Did it ‘work’?

I would like to discuss my experience of yoga with regard to my initial preconceptions and skepticism.

Were the claims about the benefits of yoga accurate? My answer is mostly yes. In some cases, a definitive yes and in others an inconclusive yes.

Flexibility? Definitely yes. The improvements in flexibility were one of the most incredible aspects. Within 3 weeks, I was able to touch my toes standing. I don’t think I have ever in my life been able to do that.

Improved breathing and overall health? Probably. It is a bit hard to say only a month in, but I would say yes. The classes have certainly made me sore! If that says anything. And the ujjayi breathing technique I learned through yoga has been an extremely useful grounding type of breath, which has helped me to breathe and reduce anxiety in stressful situations.

Increased creativity? Surprisingly, possibly. This was the one I thought for sure was going to be BS, but in the past month and a half I have experienced a lot more creative ideas than I had in any of the months prior and have decided to make a shift in some of the content on the blog, putting out more thoughtful and less quippy pieces. Was this due to the yoga or due to a change in overall mindset with regard to writing? Hard to say.

Increased mindfulness? Another difficult one. Yes, but another one where the benefits are a lot more subtle. A degree of awareness regarding states of mind has been present lately, but whether that has to do with yoga or if that is just from life, is hard to say.

Improved mental health? I think the role of the activity as a relaxing reprieve has been one of the more helpful aspects, mentally. However good or poor the week is going, those days of sunset beach yoga I know I will find some peace and calm and stability. I also find the experience and techniques associated with yoga and mindfulness fairly grounding (as they are intended to be), and from them have had related positive takeaways with regard to mental health.

Future Yoga and Takeaways

Will I continue with yoga now that the challenge month is over? Yes. Not necessarily daily, but I will continue to practice yoga, hopefully a few times a week.

And most importantly, I know it always is there. I know no matter what happens that day, I can lay down my mat and begin again.

I think that is the most powerful lesson I have learned from yoga. It is never too late to begin again. Despite learning it in the context of mindfulness specifically, this mantra continues to return to my mind and to be applicable throughout my life.

Maybe you have fallen off your yoga practice (like I did) or another wellness practice, such as regular meditation, eating a balanced diet, or exercising regularly.

Maybe there is a hobby you once used to do all the time that you’ve forgotten about.

Maybe there is a responsibility you haven’t been keeping up.

Maybe a friendship that has drifted apart.

Maybe you want to put yourself out there and try something completely new.

It is never too late to begin again.